schmevil | Expectations and preferences

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Expectations and preferences

We all have preferences for how writers treat feedback and comments. Many of us also have hidden expectations. In lieu of writing about this side of things, I thought I'd do a poll, and throw it out to you guys.

Do you want a response? Do you expect one? Does it make a difference whether we're talking about fic, meta, lulz, or just general posts? What seems polite to you? What is the prevailing way that Things Are Done?

Poll #2437 Expectations and preferences

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 144

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When I comment on fic

View Answers

I expect a response from the author.
29 (20.1%)

I don't expect a response from the author.
18 (12.5%)

I have no expectation.
63 (43.8%)

I would prefer a response.
84 (58.3%)

I would prefer not to get a response.
6 (4.2%)

I have no preference.
29 (20.1%)

When I comment on a meta post

View Answers

I expect a response from the author.
42 (29.8%)

I don't expect a response from the author.
8 (5.7%)

I have no expectation.
55 (39.0%)

I would prefer a response.
94 (66.7%)

I would prefer not to get a response.
2 (1.4%)

I have no preference.
16 (11.3%)

When I comment on a personal entry

View Answers

I expect a response from the author.
54 (38.3%)

I don't expect a response from the author.
7 (5.0%)

I have no expectation.
52 (36.9%)

I would prefer a response.
75 (53.2%)

I would prefer not to get a response.
0 (0.0%)

I have no preference.
24 (17.0%)

When I comment on a lulzy post

View Answers

I expect a response from the author.
13 (9.4%)

I don't expect a response from the author.
28 (20.3%)

I have no expectation.
72 (52.2%)

I would prefer a response.
37 (26.8%)

I would prefer not to get a response.
1 (0.7%)

I have no preference.
54 (39.1%)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I said for most things I have no preference, but for meta, I expect a response. However, none of that really covers what I meant, which is that if I am trying to engage the OP in discussion, then I expect/would like a response. Sometimes that can happen in feedback on a fic, or a personal post, and sometimes I comment on a meta post not really trying to engage discussion but just to agree or whatever. But on the whole, meta posts are most likely to be the sort of post where I am attempting to have a discussion and thus expect a response.

But on the whole, meta posts are most likely to be the sort of post where I am attempting to have a discussion and thus expect a response.

Yeah, pretty much this.

This, pretty much exactly!

(The other thing is that if the OP is responding to everyone *else*, I am sad if said OP only ignores *me* (or me and a few others.) But I think that's a given for nearly everyone.)

I would think so. Being ignored is never fun, especially when you've offered up your so-brilliant meta thoughts. ;)

Yes, that one!

If a meta is a fully conceived essay and all i say is Wow, i agree. thank you, I don't expect a response. But most journal entries are opening up discussion and when i engage there i expect a response, because I'm entering a conversation.

And I just committed one of central commenting sins, didn't I? I commented to someone OTHER than the OP, because I know him and not the OP, because I agreed and that was an easy way to assert what I wanted to say.

And I think also, because when you comment on a post, one person is getting your comment whereas when you comment on a comment at least two probably read you. finally, I think kanata's comment offers the very engagement he talks about (while I wasn't fully sure with schmevil, because a poll may want to engage or not)

all that being said, schmevil, cool poll :)

Ha ha ha! It's quit all right. :) If people aren't responding to each other, there isn't much of a conversation going on, is there?

That's a good point though, polls can be tricky to gauge. It's hard to tell what kind of response the poll author is looking for. Do they just want it filled out? Do they expect substantial meta in the comments? The poll itself gives you the option of engaging or not - it's not the opening gambit in a meta conversation. Although it could be, depending on how people respond.

I commented to someone OTHER than the OP, because I know him and not the OP, because I agreed and that was an easy way to assert what I wanted to say.

That's a cardinal sin? I had no idea -- I always kinda like it when I see people replying to other folks instead of directly to me, when I'm the OP. I mean, if they reply to me, that's fine, but I always feel like I must be doing something right if people feel like it's okay to reply to each other, instead of all having one-on-one conversations with only me.

Yeah, I've definitely never thought of that as rude or a bad thing to do on a meta post, though like people have been saying in the past week's discussion it can be rude on a fic post if you don't also address the OP.

Yeah, sometimes I will purposely comment in response to a commenter rather than the OP because that way I can essentially address them both at once. The OP is presumably receiving comments, so by responding to another commenter, my comment is going to both of them.

And sometimes I'll comment further down the thread and put a comment to the OP in parentheses, because I think it's an interesting discussion but much of I'd wanted to say about the main post had been said.

(And I wouldn't expect a response to something like this, OP!)

I actually like, particularly for a meta post, if people comment to each other, because then I don't feel like I have to comment to everything someone has said, just to make it clear that discussion is welcome. Discussion is happening! It doesn't need my prodding.

if I am trying to engage the OP in discussion, then I expect/would like a response

This, pretty much.

I'd always *like* a response if I commented on a post, but I only expect ones when I comment on a fic, even if they're just "Thanks for reading!"

That's not to say I'll stop reading good stories if they authors never acknowledge comments, but I'm certainly less likely to *leave* them if the authors consistently *don't* respond in some way, however minimal.

The whole thing about having comments (for me) is so that people can communicate. If they don't want to talk, they can post with the comments disabled.

I actually forget who I've left feedback for all the time. I'm really inconsistent in my reading and fbing habits. Because of that, I don't have a lot of expectations with regards to feedback.

I have more expectations when it comes to meta, or strangely, lulzy posts where I've made a (obviously hilarious!) joke.

I can understand not getting a response for a comment on fic or a personal entry (although I do try to respond to any comment in my LJ or to my stories, even if it's just to say thanks, because I have manners), but I do expect one for meta, especially if the subject is really meaty.

I can get pretty fail about responding to comments, as anyone who reads me well knows. That said, I do try to answer all my comments.

I agree though, for meta posts, I'm more likely to expect a response of some kind. I like how Kanata put it - you're trying to engage in conversation, not just commenting on something complete and fully under the author's control. A response just makes sense.

Although I totally fail in this arena too, sometimes. ;)

Same here - I view commenting on fic as a one-time response to the fic itself, and don't necessarily expect a reply back (in fact, in a lot of forums for posting fic, like ff.net back in the days before the "reply to reviews" function, there's no way to respond to reader reviews on a fic unless it's a WiP where you can thank eviewers in the next chapter, and there's still no way for ff.net posters to reply to reviews from people who don't have an account), whereas I view a comment on meta as joining a conversation.

I prefer to get a response, regardless of the type of post, because I don't like to think I am being ignored. My witty and insightful review of your fic or comment on your meta obviously deserves acknowledgement!

That said, I'm not too concerned when that reply comes, especially on meta posts, where thoughts can be long and meaty, and it might take a while to formulate a reply. But when I'm reading fic, for example, and I find one that's more than a week old or so and I see that the author hasn't replied to any comments? I won't waste my time commenting, then, if it appears the author doesn't care.

Dude, I feel the same way. There's always a stunned moment of wounded pride, when my obvious brilliance isn't acknowledged. ;)

I'd glad to hear that the time factor isn't an issue for you. I'm always worried that I'm responding too slowly to comments and putting people off. Sometimes (for a variety of reasons) I can't respond to comments for days. I always battle the feeling that my lack of promptness has branded me a jerk.

Here from metafandom. I marked "I have no expectation" because it really depends on too many factors. If I'm agreeing on meta, I figure, okay... I'm just chiming in and the poster can assume it's like a meeting and I'm sitting in the audience nodding or something. If I ask a question or would like something clarified, I hope for a response.

For comments on fic, if the writer gets a lot of comments or the story has been up for a long time, I assume they're overwhelmed or have a lot of irons in the fire and can't reply to everyone personally. They wrote a fic, I said it was good and the circle ~~of life~~ is complete.

Of course, it's always NICE to get a reply and 9t feels good to be acknowledged, but I'm not wounded if it doesn't happen.

Agreed. It depends on the nature of the entry, and your comment to it. I don't expect a response to simple agreement, or "Great story!" but I'm more like to edge into expectation when I'm asking a question, or really trying to engage the OP.

When it comes to personal posts, I have two different sets of expectations. On an ordinary or cranky or happy sort of post, I prefer/hope for a response. On a post about something difficult or intensely sad or whatever--the kind of post that might be emotionally difficult to reply to comments on--I don't expect a response and would prefer for the OP not to respond if responding is hard. I say that because I know some people feel like they should disable comments if they don't think they'll be able to respond, even though receiving supportive comments would help them.

I hope that made some kind of sense.

I feel that way too. Sometimes I'll read a post from a friend who's going through something really horrible, and on top of everything else she's saying, "I feel so guilty for not being able to respond to your comments." I think, forget about comments, take care of yourself!

YES.

I always try to keep my expectations low when it comes to fandom -- I leave comments not to get responses but because I have something to say. That said, I pretty much always prefer a response because interaction is one of my favorite parts of fandom. And if I leave a really long, thinky comment (on meta, fic, personal posts or anything else), then I do get a little bummed if the OP doesn't respond.

You're definitely in line with the other respondents. There seems to be a rough consensus that getting ignored in a meta post sucks much more than being ignored (or forgotten!) in other types of posts. I'm surprised at just how much agreement there is.

I cannot make a generalized statement on my preference, because it depends too much on the quality of my comment to a fic or meta.
roughly around 80% of comments I make to fics/art are "I liked this" or "this is awesome/great/cool" or "great job"
in those cases, I never expect replies from authors/artists, its just a nice to have, if they reply.

on the other hand, if I gave a more detailed response, I expect an equal lengthy reply.
If someone does not reply to my lengthier comments, or if they just reply with "thanks" to those five or more sentences or more that I made, next time, I will just say "this is great".

quid pro quo.

Equal response is a good rule of thumb, and it's one that I try to follow, not always successfully. Meaty feedback deserves an equally meaty response, I think, but if an author doesn't response, I try not to let it bother me. Maybe they don't like meaty feedback, or think I'm off base. But in general - yes to this.

I also often don't remember when I've left a response, unless it's something really meaty or there's a controversy going on. This probably helps me with my low expectations-- I read a story, I like it, I comment, but 'hey, I commented to that person' doesn't really stick in my brain.

Here via metafandom, and, yes, this!

I don't usually remember which entries I've commented on - I don't sit around waiting for a response on them! But if I see an entry with a lot of unanswered comments, I find that off-putting, and it makes me less likely to comment.

I checked "I would prefer not to get a response" under the fic question, and I'd like to explain that. I love hearing from authors; I love it when people ramble at me about their stories in response to my feedback. If I left feedback, it generally means I liked the story enough to be interested in those insights. But a lot of the time, even when I leave long comments, all the author has (time) to say is "thanks!", and I don't need that acknowledgment. I'm very picky wrt what I read and I comment because I feel somewhat strongly about the fic and have something to say; the author choosing to engage or not engage in a conversation with me is irrelevant to whether I'll read and/or comment on any more of their stories.

In addition to that, I'm one of those people who goes "ooh, new messages!" when they open their inboxes, and when one of those messages is just a "thank you" from an author I didn't even remember I've commented to, I feel a tiny bit disappointed. And that's what shifts the balance towards 'I would prefer not to receive a response'. The real answer would be 'I would prefer to receive a response with some semblance of substance, or no response at all'.

Other than that, I agree with the above commenters about expecting a response only when you're trying to engage the OP in a conversation. If someone posts a picture of a random cat and I go, "Ooh, cute!", I really don't expect that person to say something back.

I think a lot of people have bought into the idea that they're obligated to respond to all their comments (on fic). Hence, "Thanks!" I try to respond to everything, just so people know I've read and appreciated their response, but I see where you're coming from.

I don't hold it against the author if they respond with just one or two words precisely because of that. I say "Thanks!" a lot myself; I've seen a lot of people say they're put off from commenting if the author doesn't respond, and I don't want to risk losing potential repeat commenters. Plus, I am obviously grateful for what little feedback I get, so it's not much of an effort, and at this point it feels almost natural. I just happen to see it as a superfluous pleasantry even now. But my relationship with pleasantries is pretty poor to begin with, even IRL, so this could be my warped, semi-antisocial logic talking.

Heh, I would certainly prefer to get a response to everything, but I don't expect it, and don't mope if I don't get it.

It's a bit like wanting your favourite foods for dinner every night, but not remotely expecting it and it'd probably be bad for me anyway ;).

I used to have a friend who responded to everything. Sometimes it was like conversational chicken, to see who'd give up first, and stop commenting. D:

Yeah, ok, not a response to *everything* :). There's first comments and real discussion, and then there's banter and just... petering out ;).

Not with her! She was so determined to respond to everything that I'd get responses to months-dead threads, whenever she cleared out her inbox.

Which *is* fun in a way ;).

Oh, and total icon!love!

Thanks, it's from Mouse Guard, one of my favourite comics. The art is gorgeous.

I post in the hopes that someone will talk to me but if I've just said "thanks for sharing" I'm completely cool with nothing from the OP, but sometimes I'm really sad when I don't get anything and I've actually said something.

That might just be my ego speaking though. :)

No, I totally get you. I feel... slighted, when I've said something substantial and it's ignored. That's not to say that I let that feeling guide my attitude to the person, or our future interactions. I mean, it's cool to pout into your keyboard for a few minutes, right? ;)

Yes. I pout a lot and am glad it's only my computer watching my crazy face.

I like getting responses to anything, but whether I expect it or not really depends on the person. For instance, I usually do expect a response when I comment on a fic, because that's what I'm used to, and I usually do get a response. But there are some writers who don't respond to all their comments, and I don't take it personally.

With other stuff, it really depends on the person, and the mood of the post. Again, if they're not the sort of people who reply to everything, then I don't really expect a response, especially if we're not super close. Otherwise, I might.

But if I expect a response, that doesn't mean I think I'm entitled to one. I don't get too bent out of shape over it. :)

I hear you. Some people are chattier than others. Some posts are more obviously engaging than others. I except a response (in general) to meta comments, because meta is usually looking to start a conversation. I don't really expect a response to fic comments. But you're right, if they're not the sort to respond to everything, I'm cool with their not responding. I have to admit to feeling a bit slighted when someone skips over my comments in a post where they're responding to everything else. It's a purely emotional response I try to control, though. ;)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Expectations and preferences

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fandom is pretty much give and take

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via metafandom

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here via metafandom

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