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schmevil ([personal profile] schmevil) wrote2003-08-10 01:04 am
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H/D: A Ramble

I hate the OTP mindset and as much as I joke that Clark/Lex is my Smallville OTP, it really isn't. The OTP mindset encourages mediocrity in the name of volume and terrible characterization in favour of hitting the writer's kink for hot boysex.

*points at icon*

I'm sure there are very good H/D fics out there. Somewhere in the trenches of the fandom there's a brilliant and unappreciated H/Der who's doing amazing and original (and IC) things with the pairing that would shock us all into submission, but not OTPing, because she's the kind of writer that makes you appreciate the story and the characters before the sex and cuddles. So far as I've noticed, there are few popular H/D writers who come even close to this dream of mine - the majority are writing wildly OOC, bizarrely Harlequin-esque faux epic romances that suck all the fun from the source text and shunt it off into otherspace in favour of melodrama and paint-by-numbers tales of True Love.

I've long wondered about the appeal of the pairing, at times putting it down to aesthetics and alternately to the uber-fun that is enemies slash, but there are problems with both suppositions because you see, H/D isn't pretty and they aren't archenemies.

Draco is described as pointy-faced and pale. Ferret like.

Harry has messy hair, huge glasses and a facial scar.

Neither appears to be a target of mass-romantic affections in the series and neither is described as being particularly attractive. Many H/D stories emphasize The Pretty and play up the boys' physical differences (i.e. hair colour). It seems a bit thin to hang a OTP on, but anime fandom has done worse.

As for the grand enemies angle, well, the older they get, the more obvious the gap between Harry and Draco becomes. Increasingly, Draco is insignificant to Harry - an annoying insect who complicates his life, but has no lasting effect. Harry sees Draco as beneath him. Draco is the Hogwarts version of Dudley. Why not ship the other form of H/D and have all that super-kewl incestuous fun?

All of this is justification of my own deep and abiding hatred of the pairing and amounts to so much mental masturbation with at the least, a mercifully low word count. But here's the thing, the above is the both the worst of the pairing and what is most common to H/D fic. Show me a H/D that rises above The Pretty and The Passion and I'll dance a fucking jig because ladies and gentlemen, good lord, we have something other than shipfic, which is all too rare for romantic fanfiction, especially in the more popular pairings.

The OTP mindset allows an already unlikely pairing to become farcial, with its pretensions to destiny, parity and equality. It allows H/D to descend to the level of cheap, cracker-jack romance because hey, at least it's H/D, right? The community nature of fandom works to make the OTP mindset a form of textual feedback, circling the same ideas around and around, but slowly degrading in quality like the fandom version of broken telephone. But that's ok, because hey, it's H/D, right?

Sorry, but.

[identity profile] summer-day.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
Going to be in love with you now.

Not only did you write this so that I didn't have to? But you changed your comments to reference eating babies.

Re: Sorry, but.

[identity profile] schmevil.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
Finally! Someone who appreciates the fine art of baby eating. No one seems to understand that dammit, baby-flesh is tastier than grownup flesh. ^_-

*friends you*

Re: Sorry, but.

[identity profile] summer-day.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 06:09 am (UTC)(link)
Of course. It would be infinitely more tender. Also, baby bones have more spongey bone tissue than adult bones, so would boil down into tastier soup in a shorter amount of time. 9_9 Honestly, people.

Re: Sorry, but.

[identity profile] schmevil.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
I could go for a nice baby-borsch about now.

[identity profile] tartpants.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 06:49 am (UTC)(link)
*raises hand* I write H/D, but it's not my OTP. I don't really believe in OTPs because I don't like it when fics are ship-centric...I think pairings can provide interesting character tension/exploration, but I think writing a fic with the sole goal of getting two people together always puts one in the position of teetering towards mediocrity. In my own fic Harry and Draco are presented as sort of handsome and heroic at first (mostly for camp factor, cos I'm a sucker for camp), but then everything unravels and both are ultimately revealed to be sort of...uh, creepy. Anyway, my own biggest H/D pet peeve is a small one. Why do they always express their unresolved sexual tension by snarling: "Malfoy.." "Potter.."? Which is sometimes amplified to "Fuck you, Malfoy!/Potter!" *shuns* Sooo tired of that.

[identity profile] chowderhead.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 07:03 am (UTC)(link)
Now, now - don't be too harsh. H/D is a social disease, and it is physically impossible for these poor people (or any people, for that matter) to rise about the basic H/D template. Let me explain....

Exhibit A - In Which I Try To Write An IC H/D

The ground under Harry's feet squelched as he slowly made his way towards the Quidditch pitch. A damp fog had settled over the school late in the evening and had flatly refused to move since then. Thoughts turned to Quidditch as he vaguely wondered whether it would be unsporting to attatch foglights to his broom.

(Normal so far, right? Look closely at what happens when Draco enters the scene)

He had barely made it halfway across the field when his thoughts were rudely interrupted by a sneering voice. Harry turned, his head swimming with potential insults when he saw...

Draco, standing in the middle of the field, his hair, the colour of spun gold, flowing the wind. His green robes were unbottoned to the navel and his snowy skin gleamed with the power of a thousand-watt bulb. He looked like some kind of heavenly saint and Harry briefly toyed with the idea of founding several churches in his honour. His voice, which was like silk wrapped in precious jewels.....(and so on)


You see? It is unavoidable! Even I, the Great Cynic of Fandom, could not stop myself from embracing Their Almighty Passion (TM). I dare you to try it yourself! :D

(This concludes today's incredibly random post)

[identity profile] fabularasa.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
Heh. You're more of a bitch than I am. I think I love you.

[identity profile] lasultrix.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 07:24 am (UTC)(link)
H/D's still my favourite HP slash ship, and it's one of the two main ships in my magnum opus (the other being Fleur/Cho) but I wouldn't call myself an OTPer. However, I really must disagree that it's impossible to write good H/D if you're an OTPer. Being an OTPer doesn't automatically blind you to characters' imperfections, you know. Of course, I've seen far too many examples of the yucky H/D you're describing, but it's not all like that! Basic rule of fanfiction: Only a small minority of any genre or ship is going to be worth reading.

Draco is described as pointy-faced and pale.

I found this amusing because I just finished beta-ing Maya's last chapter, in which she constantly described Draco, in the mouths of practically every character from Sirius to Hagrid, as pointy. I kept telling her to cut it! cut it! So H/Ders can in fact go overboard on the pointy. ;)

[identity profile] dien.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 08:06 am (UTC)(link)
YOU! You! YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

*dashes over and prepares to fling arms around blackfall/MHC, remembers self at the last second and instead does the refined bow one would expect*

GADS, I didn't know you were here at this journal place too! Long time no see oh magnificent one I adore but have somehow lost contact with! Auuugh!

*throws chocolate at MHC* *gasps for breath*

Forgive my enthusiasm. A bit.... brain-fuckered right now. But I'm terribly glad to see you. :D

...nice entry, by the way. I've personally never cared for HP/DM, and the only way I manage OTPs in is the sense of mocking them. Badly.

[identity profile] misentropic.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 12:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I think I love you. Take me now. =D

[identity profile] rivetcat.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 12:29 pm (UTC)(link)
people have already told you how brilliant this is, so i don't have to. very insightful, and hits a lot of the reasons i don't read much h/d.

one of the ones i make an exception for is [livejournal.com profile] ishuca's Plague of Legends, which can be found here (http://ishuca.kaerichi.net/slash/pol.html). long WiP, so you're warned, but far better than average H/D characterization. after 20 chapters they are still not friends and there is no Twoo Wuv in sight, though there has been a sexual relationship going on for a while.
not OotP compatible, but not as implausible as it could be.

down with OTPs! (More or less.)

[identity profile] selenak.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 12:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Draco is the Hogwarts version of Dudley. Why not ship the other form of H/D and have all that super-kewl incestuous fun?

In one brilliant sentence, you've managed to capture all my objections to the Harry/Draco thing!

[identity profile] laboresolis.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 02:50 pm (UTC)(link)
MHC, can I be your bitch? I'll be a good one. I can even make pie. *pupp- er, kitten eyes*

I was beginning to think I was the only person in the fandom who hated this godawful trainwreck. Now all you have to do is kill off the D/Gers...

[identity profile] mark356.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I used to ship H/D, but for the most part I agree with you. I'm tired of fic that exists just to put two characters together, and most H/D ignores the beautiful dynamic between them in canon. However, I disagree with the idea that Draco is insignificant to Harry. There are several scenes in OoTP where Harry thinks about Draco even when Draco is not present, often in personal introspective scenes. (My list is here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/mark356/22120.html).) And Draco ranges from being mean and petty to brilliant in either snark or plans. To me, most of the energy of H/D comes from the fact that Draco is clearly in love with Harry (which far too many H/D authors ignore!) and Harry is not entirely unresponsive and will probably become even more sensitive to Draco as the two become closer together. But at this point, after five years of only impressing Harry with snark and cunning plans, it's a little too late for Draco to just put his arm around Harry's shoulder; if he did that, Harry would just tell him to go away. Finally, many of Harry's words and actions were very similar to Draco's in OoTP! The two have an amazing chemistry and would have a lot of problems to work out, and then would be able to work together beautifully, which in my mind makes them a great pair. I also hope that soon there will be more H/D that's better than shipfic!

[identity profile] pirouette.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
And this, my friend-of-a-friend, is why I do not write H/D, and exactly why I am writing it (because I hate it, there's no better reason).

As for the grand enemies angle, well, the older they get, the more obvious the gap between Harry and Draco becomes. Increasingly, Draco is insignificant to Harry - an annoying insect who complicates his life, but has no lasting effect. Harry sees Draco as beneath him.

Yes, exactly! Draco is a shit in mine and does not redeem himself...H/D is not my OTP. But I'm not reccing it. Oh no. Hopefully everyone will hate it. Haha.

Darling!

[identity profile] schmevil.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Good lord, woman! How long have you been on lj without my knowing about it? I don't understand how I could have missed this. Agh. *is floored* There are so many communities I have to force you to join. Now. ^_^

I have some lovely espresso-caramel choclate if you'd like to share? I think there may be some thin mints in the vicinity of the kitchen as well.

[identity profile] schmevil.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, if you insist. *ravishes*

[identity profile] schmevil.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I really need to catch up on FMKK! The early chapters were just so damn fun that I suspect the later shipiness wouldn't even put off a H/D hater like myself. The camp is fantastic.

Anyway, my own biggest H/D pet peeve is a small one.

It's always the little things, because those're what the truly horrid, untalented hacks figure they can get away with, without being thwaped for plagiarism. Besides that, if you're only reading H/D then you start to see it as canon and pick up on common character quirks. I adore fics that break with fanon. *happy sigh*

[identity profile] schmevil.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I you provide punch with that pie then I'll let you lick my stompy boots.

Actually, there are many people who aren't fond of H/D. It's just that they're such a plentiful and vocal segment of the fandom that one begins to suspect that they're all that exists. Perish the thought. *g*
ext_7625: (Default)

[identity profile] kaiz.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I think this sort of thing is likely to happen whenever a pairing becomes fetishized, for lack of a better word. There are scads of Harry/Ginny, Harry/Snape, Snape/Hermione, and Sirius/Remus "pairing fetish" stories out there (to name just a few), and outside of the Potterverse, I've seen it happen in every single fandom I've ever been in. Highlander was especially egregious with the Duncan/Methos pairing fetish and Star Trek: Voyager with Chakotay/Paris. And the less said about Jim and Blair (the Sentinel), the better.

[identity profile] tanzy.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, yes, and more yes! :o

[identity profile] schmevil.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
*snickers* Keep that H/D away from me. I don't want to catch the disease.

You know, I do think it's possible to write an IC H/D story but as I generally don't read the pairing, I've yet to come across one. I think it would have to focus on the power imbalances inherent to the relationship and be very unhealthy. But that's just me.

[identity profile] schmevil.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm more of a bitch than most people. :p

[identity profile] schmevil.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, speaking generally, being an OTPer dramatically increases the likelihood that you'll forgive many flaws as long as your OTP remains intact. Obviously not every OTPer writes shite and reads it, but many, I'll even go so far as to say most do, because there's only so long a given individual can rewrite the same story. You can write a million H/D stories but as long as you're playing in other sandboxes on the side then you'll probably be fine - it's when you're completely stuck in the OTP mindset, to the exclusion of everything else that your writing quality necessarily degrades. You start entertaining radical AUs where Draco is a Russian ballerina and Harry is a revolutionary and their starcrossed love must triumph over a bizarre series of deus ex machina come goofy, contrived obstacles.

But you're right, not all OTPers are blind. Just most of them. :p

Looks like Maya is suffering from overcompensation syndrome, where we want so terribly for our characterizations to be right that we go overboard in emphasizing visible character traits. I've often found this to be at its worst in Snapefic, where writers go out of their way to point out how ugly Snape is. In like, every paragraph. Er... no. *g*

Basic rule of fanfiction: Only a small minority of any genre or ship is going to be worth reading.

Don't you just wish the opposite was true?

[identity profile] schmevil.livejournal.com 2003-08-10 06:51 pm (UTC)(link)
We'ell, I may have to take a look. Thanks for the rec. I'm always on the lookout for something new.

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