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Epic Die Hard Marathon... is back
Yeah, idek what happened. Feel free to poke me if I'm taking forever with something. In the meantime, the Die Hard Marathon is back!
Every Die Hard movie is about hostages. DH2 puts John inside the crisis with Holly still out of reach. This time the terrorists seize Dulles Airport, complete with travelers, workers and planes circling overhead - they control all of it. As usual, everything's going according to plan, save one thing: John Fucking McClane. Our favourite fly in the ointment, the monkey in the wrench. You know how this goes, right?
I think having John McClane show up even in the vicinity of a well-planned crime must be every criminal's nightmare in the DH universe. He's got some kind of probability-bending, criminal-foiling superpowers, amirite? It's nuts.
This is easily the weakest of the four DH movies (imho of course). The why is simple: this movie is trying to redo the first one, only bigger and with more shit blowing up. Instead of an office tower, an airport. Instead of (admittedly very skilled) thieves, ex-army special forces. Instead of stunts set in and outside of an office tower, stunts on a blacked out tarmac, and on the wing of a freaking plane. It's George Lucas "FASTER, MORE INTENSE!" syndrome up in here. The movie even has a similar structure to the first. Similar characters and character development. Similar stunts. But in opening things up to a wider cast, going "FASTER, MORE INTENSE" all over the place, DH2 loses the tightness, and the standout, economical storytelling of the first. Whereas in the first film every character served a vital purpose, and all the bits and pieces of Nakatomi were characters in their own right, set pieces and participants in a showdown or an emotional crisis, in DH2 it's all just bloat.
So. Colonel Stewart and his merry band of mercenaries take control of an airport. This in the days before serious airport security - it's like a history lesson, really. It's laughably easy for them to take control of the airport (they even remark on it in the film!). Hell, it's laughably easy for them to wander around doing whatever they like! Smoking, drinking, planting listening devices. Someone call Homeland Security. Also wandering around unrestricted is off-duty and out of town police officer, John McClane. As in the first film, he's flown across the country with his badge and piece. (Seriously, does the sidearm accompany him to the local deli? Once again: this is the second movie in a row that dude has gone on vacation while strapped. It's an interesting character note, as well as being a moment of purest retro-weird, matched only by his smoking in an airport cafe. Oh the humanity!)
In order to drive home the point of how incredibly evil our villains are, we get: naked hotel room katas! the directing of strange epithets like "pinko bitch!" to plucky girl reporters! We get... the villains being good at their jobs, and enjoying them. Always a bad sign. Unfortunately, the movie doesn't take the time to develop them as real characters and instead gives us an agglomeration of traits and cliches in the shape of capital g, capital m, Godless Mercenaries. Greedy, ruthless, amoral, possessed of some vague and shifting ideals. Overall... uninteresting. DH2 I am disappoint. Even the hammy, Columbian General is blah.
The sidekicks too, are generic and blah. Barnes is plucky, and Trudeau is determined. As Lorenzo, Dennis Franz is a cliche wrapped in whining, dipped in laziness.
There are some genuine moments in this film, don't get me wrong, but the whole thing is haunted by the sense that it Could Have Been So Much Better.
The highpoint: Well, I'm sure for most people it's John's escaping from that transport plane on the ejector seat (which doesn't exist in transport planes!), but for me it's actually the early portions of the film, where John exhibits detective-y competence. Not only is John on the right side of things, as he always is in DH movies, he's the cleverest, most together guy in the room. And that there, is my John McClane. Clever, fast on his feet, determined as all hell, and skilled at things he has no right to be skilled at. He's not the smartest guy, the most credentialed guy, or the best fighter. He's terrible and interpersonal communication, and he hates technology. But he's the guy you want around when things start going south.
So yeah. Don't like Die Harder, would prefer not to watch again. What about you guys?
Every Die Hard movie is about hostages. DH2 puts John inside the crisis with Holly still out of reach. This time the terrorists seize Dulles Airport, complete with travelers, workers and planes circling overhead - they control all of it. As usual, everything's going according to plan, save one thing: John Fucking McClane. Our favourite fly in the ointment, the monkey in the wrench. You know how this goes, right?
I think having John McClane show up even in the vicinity of a well-planned crime must be every criminal's nightmare in the DH universe. He's got some kind of probability-bending, criminal-foiling superpowers, amirite? It's nuts.
This is easily the weakest of the four DH movies (imho of course). The why is simple: this movie is trying to redo the first one, only bigger and with more shit blowing up. Instead of an office tower, an airport. Instead of (admittedly very skilled) thieves, ex-army special forces. Instead of stunts set in and outside of an office tower, stunts on a blacked out tarmac, and on the wing of a freaking plane. It's George Lucas "FASTER, MORE INTENSE!" syndrome up in here. The movie even has a similar structure to the first. Similar characters and character development. Similar stunts. But in opening things up to a wider cast, going "FASTER, MORE INTENSE" all over the place, DH2 loses the tightness, and the standout, economical storytelling of the first. Whereas in the first film every character served a vital purpose, and all the bits and pieces of Nakatomi were characters in their own right, set pieces and participants in a showdown or an emotional crisis, in DH2 it's all just bloat.
So. Colonel Stewart and his merry band of mercenaries take control of an airport. This in the days before serious airport security - it's like a history lesson, really. It's laughably easy for them to take control of the airport (they even remark on it in the film!). Hell, it's laughably easy for them to wander around doing whatever they like! Smoking, drinking, planting listening devices. Someone call Homeland Security. Also wandering around unrestricted is off-duty and out of town police officer, John McClane. As in the first film, he's flown across the country with his badge and piece. (Seriously, does the sidearm accompany him to the local deli? Once again: this is the second movie in a row that dude has gone on vacation while strapped. It's an interesting character note, as well as being a moment of purest retro-weird, matched only by his smoking in an airport cafe. Oh the humanity!)
In order to drive home the point of how incredibly evil our villains are, we get: naked hotel room katas! the directing of strange epithets like "pinko bitch!" to plucky girl reporters! We get... the villains being good at their jobs, and enjoying them. Always a bad sign. Unfortunately, the movie doesn't take the time to develop them as real characters and instead gives us an agglomeration of traits and cliches in the shape of capital g, capital m, Godless Mercenaries. Greedy, ruthless, amoral, possessed of some vague and shifting ideals. Overall... uninteresting. DH2 I am disappoint. Even the hammy, Columbian General is blah.
The sidekicks too, are generic and blah. Barnes is plucky, and Trudeau is determined. As Lorenzo, Dennis Franz is a cliche wrapped in whining, dipped in laziness.
There are some genuine moments in this film, don't get me wrong, but the whole thing is haunted by the sense that it Could Have Been So Much Better.
The highpoint: Well, I'm sure for most people it's John's escaping from that transport plane on the ejector seat (which doesn't exist in transport planes!), but for me it's actually the early portions of the film, where John exhibits detective-y competence. Not only is John on the right side of things, as he always is in DH movies, he's the cleverest, most together guy in the room. And that there, is my John McClane. Clever, fast on his feet, determined as all hell, and skilled at things he has no right to be skilled at. He's not the smartest guy, the most credentialed guy, or the best fighter. He's terrible and interpersonal communication, and he hates technology. But he's the guy you want around when things start going south.
So yeah. Don't like Die Harder, would prefer not to watch again. What about you guys?