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queernesia
We were talking about this on Twitter. @SarangaComics brought up the OH YEAH YOU'RE BISEXUAL phenomenon, and from there it became a thing. So here goes:
I am queer when I am dating a guy.
I am queer when I'm not dating anyone at all.
I am queer in the morning, and queer at night.
I am queer on Mondays, queer on Tuesdays, queer on Wednesdays through Sundays, and every other day besides.
I am queer when I'm presenting as ultra-femme, and queer when I'm butch.
I am queer. I have a measure of passing privilege and I rarely date, much less talk about who I'm sleeping with. Because we know each other for all sorts of reasons, and not all of you reading are friends, it's nothing to me if you haven't noticed. It is something if you doubt my queerness, or conveniently forget it, over and over. It is definitely something if you start looking for proof. It is something if you erase my sexuality for your own convenience or comfort. It is a thing, a big goddamn thing, if you dismiss me as not being queer enough, as being too queer, or not the right kind of queer.
Of course I've gotten "I just don't think of you that way." Except, and this is the sticking point, somehow not 'thinking of me that way' (read: as a sexual being), means a mental shuffling of the deck, until quelle surprise, I'm a straight girl. And that is not fine. That's not subtracting the sexual, for a purely intellectual relationship. It's subtracting the QUEER. You do think of me 'that way', you're just reimagining the content of 'that way' for your own comfort. And seriously, if you're going to play those kinds of games with my person, you can just keep on walking, because I don't need you in my life.
I am queer when I am dating a guy.
I am queer when I'm not dating anyone at all.
I am queer in the morning, and queer at night.
I am queer on Mondays, queer on Tuesdays, queer on Wednesdays through Sundays, and every other day besides.
I am queer when I'm presenting as ultra-femme, and queer when I'm butch.
I am queer. I have a measure of passing privilege and I rarely date, much less talk about who I'm sleeping with. Because we know each other for all sorts of reasons, and not all of you reading are friends, it's nothing to me if you haven't noticed. It is something if you doubt my queerness, or conveniently forget it, over and over. It is definitely something if you start looking for proof. It is something if you erase my sexuality for your own convenience or comfort. It is a thing, a big goddamn thing, if you dismiss me as not being queer enough, as being too queer, or not the right kind of queer.
Of course I've gotten "I just don't think of you that way." Except, and this is the sticking point, somehow not 'thinking of me that way' (read: as a sexual being), means a mental shuffling of the deck, until quelle surprise, I'm a straight girl. And that is not fine. That's not subtracting the sexual, for a purely intellectual relationship. It's subtracting the QUEER. You do think of me 'that way', you're just reimagining the content of 'that way' for your own comfort. And seriously, if you're going to play those kinds of games with my person, you can just keep on walking, because I don't need you in my life.