schmevil | 10 Ways Fandom Has Fucked Canon!Snape Up the Ass With Mischaracterization

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10 Ways Fandom Has Fucked Canon!Snape Up the Ass With Mischaracterization

ETA: Just to clarify, because a lot of people are reacting the same way. I'm talking about what I see as inaccurate base characterizations, i.e. what makes up the bedrock of a personality. I'm not talking about secondary or learnerd/acquired traits. So, Snape can be a bastard and like books, but he's not a bastard because he likes books.

In no particular order.

1. Sometimes people get the idea that Severus Snape just might be a reasonable man and write fics where he's familiar with the concept of behaving logically, consistently and well, reasonably. He makes sense. He behaves relatively properly, if a bit pissily and actually has reasons for his actions. Reasons that don't seem like they were cooked up by a schizophrenic, crack-addled sparrow. This Snape is commonly paired with Hermione or Harry and is really just a lovably misunderstood misanthrope at heart. He's a big fan of the Socratic method and makes witty remarks with heat-seeking accuracy, neatly shredding his opponents and never, ever seizing up in rage and spitting uncontrollably.

2. There are these fans. They think that clothing really does make the man and assume that because movie!Snape is a big fan of buttons that he's a timelost Victorian romantic hero. Or something. He's prudishly reserved and is not fond of the messier side of life. Sex? We don't talk about that here, oh no. This Snape is endearingly old fashioned, with a stiff upper lip and barrels of dignity. Again, no spittle to be found.

3. People have kinks and fic writers like to project their kinks onto characters - we all know this. Unfortunately for us all, many people just don't use good sense when foisting their nelly-bottoming and spankmecutmeohpleasemakemebleed(butnotinreallife) wussy-ass, faux, masochism onto characters. Here's the thing, Snape trusts no one. He certainly doesn't trust anyone enough to explore his kinks with them. Go on, let's see some evidence that Snape would ever be comfortable expressing masochism. Or even that he'd be comfortable with sexual sadism. I dare you. Kink requires trust and some level of emotional control. Even if he managed enough trust to start, he'd ruin the fun by losing control of himself in mere seconds. With spittle.

4. Did you know that Snape actually has good hygiene? It's those darned potions that make his hair all greasy and the tea that's stained his teeth yellow. He wants to be pretty but it's so haaaaaard. *whimper/sob* Don't you kind of feel sorry for him already? Isn't he so romantic and wonderful and oh god he deserves love!!! To borrow a term from Smallville fandom - WOOBIE.

5. Snape loved Lily so much that when she married James, he turned to the Dark Side. Woe. Or maybe he loved Remus so much that his 'attempt to kill Snape' was scarring. He's never gotten over it. He really isn't driven by hatred and the drive for petty revenge, so much as he is driven by his vast and unending woe. It's quite possible that his mommy never told young Snape that she loved him. This Snape keeps mementos of the object of his unrequited affections and stalks with creepy-but-not-too-creepy obsessiveness. Sometimes he stays a virgin because if he can't have Lily/Remus/Random Gryffindor, then he won't have anyone. Isn't that sweet? And creepy? But kind of sweet? Do you think that maybe he like, cuts himself when he's sad?

6. Once, I was thinking about Snape and wondered if maybe he'd left Voldemort's service because he was offended by the terrible-horrible-no-good-bad things that were going on. Then I laughed myself silly.

7. Some people - people who don't like Snape - have this silly idea that he wants to destroy the world and tortures puppies in his spare time. These people don't understand have the brains of six year olds, it's true, but there are so many of them that it's becoming a concern. This Snape doesn't need a reason to be a bastard, not even one so flimsy as being annoyed by children and generally an asshole. Oh no, this Snape? Is eeeeeeeviiiil. Maybe even eviler than Voldemort. He's pulling strings and seething at the leash Dumbledore has him by, and one day, his plans for armageddon, followed by hot-dead-non-con will come to fruition. Poor Draco and Harry will probably cry on that day, right before Snape rapes them over and over in rapid succession (this Snape possesses a mighty cock that does not wilt) and then kills them in a suitably messy way.

8. While evil!Snape possesses a superior cock, there is another Snape who out-debauches in every way. Yes folks, I'm talking about sex-god!Snape. What? You didn't think that was possible? His greasy hair and nasty disposition probably puts off likely lovers? Heresy! Guards, throw this woman out of the fandom! You see, under all those layers of nasty black robes, Severus Snape burns with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. He wants your body and nothing you do will be enough to resist his smooth-voiced charms. He likes to fuck and fuck often. He'll fuck anything with a hole and he'll make that hole scream for mercy and then scream for more. *swoons*

9. If Snape hadn't been a Slytherin, he'd have been a Ravenclaw. Fanfic told me so. He might be a bastard, but he's a bastard that just wants to curl up with a book, far away from the world. He wants to be left alone to tinker with his potions, uncaring of how they might be used. See, Snape's a teacher and he makes these passionate speeches about subtle sciences and incompetent dunderheads. You know what that means, don't you? He loves to learn. He really, really does. It's just that all these people get in his way. Don't you just love those alternate reality fics where Snape gets to be in his true house and just calms right the fuck down? Ravenclaw!Snape 4eva, y'all!

10. Snape is shy. Endearingly so, of course. He's mean because he's socially awkward and deep down, he really wants you to like him. His mouth gets away from his mind and suddenly he's saying all these horrible things, and hoping that if he strikes first, people won't tease him so much. Poor, poor Severus. Won't someone give him a cookie and handkerchief to mop up that socially awkward spittle?

Of course, I could go on, but why hurt myself even more? *whimper* I think I'll curl up in a dark corner with a good book and my favourite razor, then when I'm feeling a bit better, I'll go out (dressed in my favourite black robes, buttoned up to me eyes) and destroy the world. I sure hope that doesn't make people dislike me, especially not the children of my unrequited love, because then I wouldn't be able to have sex with them.

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Bwahahaha!!!

You are SUCH a goddess! First the anti-H/D rant, and now this! *sacrifices goats in your name*

*spits with laughter* You forgot 'Snape is Harry's father,' which sometimes a subset of 5, but usually a subset of 'claw my eyes out' all it's own.

And I like your icon. Though 'Klaatu, verata, necktie!' is probably my favorite line from that movie. ^_-

Uh that was me. I just forgot I was logged into a different account. *is stupid*

*claps hands* I think you actually covered them all!

I am laughing so hard right now. Brava!

I remain certain a great deal of fanon!Snape is Alan Rickman's fault, but I can't prove it. At any rate, serious Word to everything you said here. Snape is not ultimate evil, he is not an unsung hero, he's just nasty and pathetic and in need of both a therapist and a hygiene routine.

Of course, I also have issues with he'stherealhero!Draco and noredeemingqualities!Harry, so clearly my judgment is not to be trusted.

at the internet cafe while my date checks out his orders...And I am dying. Simply dying, and he is giving odd looks, and I wanted tell him 'No write your clients' and am spraying the screen with spittle, Snape style.
My Snape has greasy fucked up teeth and knows he's a pain. Still has the lovas, baby.
Snape 4 eva, yo!
Peace out!
Dana, giggling!

I find that most of those characterizations are redeemable, when they're not too over-the-top, when qualified by the phrase "and he's a petty, vindictive, paranoid, angy, greasy-haired mean-spirited bastard."

Snape is a repressed Victorian prude-- not on its own a convincing characterization. Snape is a repressed Victorian prude AND he's a petty, vindictive, paranoid, angry, greasy-haired mean-spirited bastard-- this, I can buy.

Snape can still carry a torch for his first love, AND be a petty, vindictive, paranoid, angry, greasy-haired mean-spirited bastard! Snape can be revolted by and ashamed of what he's done in Voldemort's service, AND be a petty, vindictive, paranoid, angry, greasy-haired mean-spirited bastard! Snape can shy and socially inept, he can be a thwarted academic, he can even be an insatiable lover-- just so long as he's also a petty, vindictive, paranoid, angry, greasy-haired mean-spirited bastard.

I think I agree with this. Give him depth, but don't forget he's a complete ass even when he's doing the right thing.

I don't suppose you'd like to post this at

snapesupport where we try to keep our Snapes in line with canon?

See, my only disagreement with any of this is with the concept that there is a canon!Snape. In canon, he's seen through the filter of an unreliable narrator and therefore any conclusions that are drawn regarding him are likely to be fallacious. (Example: Ask my kids what they think of me right after I've grounded them. Go on.)

That said, the characterizations you listed usually make me want to claw my own eyes out... [g]

Dear

blackfall,

You are my god.

That is all.

Sincerely,

pauraque
(aka SoberAlien)

*dies* Love it. Love it.

I do think a fair bit of these are redeemable, for example: intellectual!Snape (though a Ravenclaw AU just sounds silly), Snape leaving the DEs because the evil got too much for him (he's NOT evil, after all, and he did leave them), Masochist!Snape (only with certain pairings; with a student is believable, I think), and Rational!Snape (rational in *some* respects only).

Brilliant. You weild your big stick with precision and power.

Lovely rant.

While I like a Snape who makes some sense I also want people to mix that with a large amount of pure hatred, vindictiveness, paranoia and general idiocy. Because even if Snape has a masterplan somewhere inside his head, he's likely to fuck it up anyway, because Sirius Black aside, he's the most emotionally cramped, stubborn little asshole in canon.

Which is why we all love him.

I massively agree with just about everything, particularly THERE'S A REASON WHY HIS HAIR IS GREASY! stories that desperately try to prove how and why the grease mysteriously found it's way into Snape's otherwise pristine world. And, like others, I don't mind reading versions of these cliches when they're utilised in funny or interesting ways (no, it can happen, really).

But. I can't completely agree with #3. There's just something really deeply, innately pervy about Snape. His sexuality would have been deformed from years of being an outcast, he's like an aesthete, a nerd, and a wanna-be hard man all rolled into one. None of which would make him likely to have a partner, and would probably generate in him all kinds of voyeurestic, pervy tendencies.

Here's the thing, Snape trusts no one. He certainly doesn't trust anyone enough to explore his kinks with them. Go on, let's see some evidence that Snape would ever be comfortable expressing masochism. Or even that he'd be comfortable with sexual sadism. I dare you. Kink requires trust and some level of emotional control.

But I think that this contradicts your earlier point about Snape and logic - sex isn't about logic or control, and sooo many people make such silly, irrational mistakes in relation to physical and sexual attraction. I can so see Snape only ever losing control in a sexual encounter (probably anonymous or in a highly coded gay scenario in the bars) or in some other sitation of pseudo-intimacy.

Anyway, everyone has a different version of Snape ...

-brodie

The last paragraph completely capped off the rant, sort of like a pair of green olives in a dry vodka martini. Brilliant.

Ahhh yes... love this.

I could write the same about Lucius. *weeps at fic being written about Lucius*.

Although I see two three types of fanfic (all three types I've written):

1. Canon fic, which painstakingly carries over the characterization from canon.

2. Exploratory fic, which proposes what if scenarios and explores plausible extrapolations from what is present in canon.

3. Fan fic, which is whatever the fuck goes. Most people write this. Most people don't label it AU but should.

I think some aspects of your points, if tempered somewhat and balanced could slide into 2., but it's when they're excessive with the unreal attributes that they quickly fall into 3.

Well said, well said.

Hugs.

X

I laugh. I laugh so loud that the trees around this house bend from the forcefulness of my laugh-i-ness.

And your predatory Glory (that is Glory, isn't it?) is so adorable.

Mayhap I just don't read enough Snape fics, but one thing I've never seen before that I'd like to: Snape really being evil and actually spying on Dumbledore for Voldemort, instead of the other way around.

Bravo on this rant! Utterly entertaining and very true. You've managed to encompass every single Snape story I've ever read (uh, mine included). As said by others before me, some of these characterizations are fairly redeemable and work, given the nature of the story and talent of the author, but I think you're referring to authors who abuse their privileges *g*

*kicks puppies and begs to become your minion*

I agree with Ellen. Few characterizations are *completely* irredeemable, although they do exist. One of the reasons fanfiction is fun -- one of the reasons it exists -- is to let us play around with notions of characterization within a set frame. If everybody wrote Snape the same way, where's the fun in that? I am in no way advocating lovey-dovey Snape or sexgod!Snape; just open-mindedness. *G*

Very amusing list but I was wondering if you have applied it to your Snapes at all. Or is the Snape-as-Narcissa’s-chambermaid in “Metonymy” some sort of parody?

I <3 you. No, really. That's exactly what I was thinking.

While I had tons of fun reading the rant, and saw so much of it that was true, I also was thinking "but wait... that's every Snape story I've ever read, including some of the ones that I thought were damn good." As someone else said down the thread, since Snape in canon is viewed through the lens of an unreliable narrator, he COULD be any of these things - we just don't know. But if you're going to say he's any of these things, you've got to back up his actions in terms of relating to Harry and co. in terms of the personality you've just assigned him, and do it convincingly. Stories that can do that - not lose touch with canon - without falling back on the "But he had to because he had to look mean and ebil so nobody thought he wasn't a Death Eater!!" line are good stories. Stories that can't are what you're ranting about. ;)

Um. I don't think that Metonymy!Snape is particularly OOC if you accept the central conceit of the story, which is that Snape considers the Malfoys to be his friends and he feels indebted to Lucius and Narcissa for their places in his life. I don't think it impossible that canon!Snape could feel good things about people who treated him well and however much of a bastard he is, he pays his debts.

Also, Metonymy is Narcissa-POV and more about her than anyone else. The summary reads: "Narcissa muses on the strange turns of desire and the men in her life." (which is horribly crappy and I need to change it.) Metonymy!Snape is how she perceives him, just as Metonymy!Lucius is how Narcissa sees him and not necessarily as he is.

I would argue that it is IC for Snape to take particular care of someone who he values or needs and the idea of the story is that he needs Narcissa, because Lucius does. And Snape very much needs Lucius to maintain his position in the Death Eaters. Narcissa sees his actions somewhat more selflessly than Snape himself does.

Obviously you interpret the story differently and that may be the fault of my inexperience as a writer, when I wrote it.

XD Very, err. Well thought out! I'm putting this in my memories...

The thing about exploring kink, is that sensible people don't choose someone like Snape to play with because he's dangerous, in a most emphatically not-good way. His lack of control would ruin the fun for both of them because he wouldn't be able to stay in the game. Sex is supposed to be fun and most people, even those who are very much into the BDSM scene aren't interested in actual drama whilst fucking. Snape might try to find a partner, but it would be a difficult search, physical attractiveness aside.

Also, voyeurism is non-consensual. It doesn't require finding a partner, or opening oneself up to scorn in any way. It's the opposite of the kind of kink I was vilifying.

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