Sillyfic Challenge!

[schmevil]

fizzingpop and I were discussing RPS...

Me: The first time I ever encountered [RPS], it was all written by gay men
Me: Seriously hardcore, dirty porn

Fizz: *laughs*
Fizz: That's excellent.

Me: Then a couple of years ago, the slashers started writing it
Me: And it became um, fluffy
Me: The change is hysterical, though the lack of all the '9 inch meat' is saddening. ;-)

Fizz: ....Dude. I haven't laughed as hard as I just did in _years_.
Fizz: '9 inch meat'.
Fizz: *still laughing*

Me: It was in every story, back in the day.

Fizz: That's wonderful.

Me: Of course, there was always a LOT of come, too
Me: Guys would be coming in each other's faces, hitting the ceiling
Me: It was like... carnival porn

Fizz: Hah! That's brilliant!

Me: I should issue a Write The Sex Like A Man Would, challenge

Fizz: This'll be the best challenge _ever_. There should be an award for best challenge, and this could win.

Write the Sex Like A Man Would

Yes ladies, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write man-porn. Not slash but carnival man-porn, in all it's cheesy glory. Gigantic, jutting cocks. Streams of come. And the phrase "9 inch meat". It just doesn't get any better than this. Bonus points for rocket come. As always, the challenge is open - any fandom, any pairing.

As a *cough* reward for the best entry, Fizz and I will write a ficlet of at least 250 words. Any pairing, any plot. (Harry Potter and Smallville only)

Comments

[timian.livejournal.com]

Hee! I'm a guy (shock), but one thing I genuinely love about women writing m/m slash is the nearly ubiquitous attention to foreplay, seduction and (*gasp!*) emotional connectedness.

Gay men? Not so much into any of those things, at least in writing. (*cough*And in life.*cough*)

What a fun challenge though. lol And the whole "giant cocks" thing is so, so true. In the limited fic I've read, 80% of the time there wasn't even a description of what the guy looked like, just blathering about his massive manhood. *rolls eyes*

Re:

[schmevil.livejournal.com]

Aw, poor Tim. If I was a gay man I'd take the time for the foreplay with you. ;-) Similarly though, it's just as hard to find a straight guy who's into foreplay, or a gay girl who's NOT into extensive foreplay. Damn my fickle sex drive.

What a fun challenge though.

Issuing ridiculous challenges is my niche. *g*

In the limited fic I've read, 80% of the time there wasn't even a description of what the guy looked like, just blathering about his massive manhood.

Oh yeah! The best are the stories that seem to be all about cocks - as if all the rest of the world melts away and there's just a bunch of enormous penii, engorged and slick. O.o

[tinderblast.livejournal.com]

One major (no, not 'big') difference that I've noticed is that slash fiction never, ever seems to feature the word 'inches'. Sure, there will be an 'impressive endowment' or a 'massive tool' or even the rarity, the 'slender member' (going for that rhyme). But no one ever seems to calculate the length in numbers. Funny.

brodie

Re:

[schmevil.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if that reluctance is a reaction against male-erotica, or if it's a different way of looking at things, but I've certainly noticed the same thing. I'm hesitant to put it down to a systematic difference between men and women, partly because I don't think that slash is a good representation of female-erotica.