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Kink in fic vs. kink in life
Wow, insomnia really is a special kind of hell. My alarm clock just went off. It's time for me to wake up. Yesterday.
So I've been sitting here thinking, in between writing papers and being vaguely awake, about fen kinks and how those are translated into our actual, phsyical sex lives. I've had a lot of conversations with fen who write or read BDSM that reveal those same fen ave no interest in BDSM in their sex lives. It's just a fantasy for them, much like slash smut is for many women. And then, I've had conversations with fen who adore gen and rarely touch smut, and never the hardcore kinky stuff, who admit to be rather kinky in their offline lives. So it occurded to me, it would be interesting to make a list of kinks I indulge in fandom and then one of kinks I indulge IRL, and look hard at the discrepencies. Why are they there? What makes the kink expressable either in fiction, or action, and not through the other? What makes it interesting in the first place?
I honestly can't think of a single kink that I'll own up to possessing that I don't enjoy in both fiction and my sex life. When I read a crossdressing fic, I don't enjoy it out of some fascination with transgression, so much as I find genderfuck incredibly hot.
If you're willing, I'd love to see what items didn't match up for you and why you think they didn't, because I think there's something very interesting to be learned there. Also, I just like talking about sex... *g*
So I've been sitting here thinking, in between writing papers and being vaguely awake, about fen kinks and how those are translated into our actual, phsyical sex lives. I've had a lot of conversations with fen who write or read BDSM that reveal those same fen ave no interest in BDSM in their sex lives. It's just a fantasy for them, much like slash smut is for many women. And then, I've had conversations with fen who adore gen and rarely touch smut, and never the hardcore kinky stuff, who admit to be rather kinky in their offline lives. So it occurded to me, it would be interesting to make a list of kinks I indulge in fandom and then one of kinks I indulge IRL, and look hard at the discrepencies. Why are they there? What makes the kink expressable either in fiction, or action, and not through the other? What makes it interesting in the first place?
I honestly can't think of a single kink that I'll own up to possessing that I don't enjoy in both fiction and my sex life. When I read a crossdressing fic, I don't enjoy it out of some fascination with transgression, so much as I find genderfuck incredibly hot.
If you're willing, I'd love to see what items didn't match up for you and why you think they didn't, because I think there's something very interesting to be learned there. Also, I just like talking about sex... *g*
no subject
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Yes, that counts. Tell?
Hmm...
But are those really kinks? The modern Western world has dictated that men shall wear pants. Yet, in much in the world, men wear flowing robes and kilt-y skirts. Is it really a genderfuck when a guy in a flowing robe or a tight dress? A guy has always had the right, or the privilege, of doing that. A true genderfuck to me would be to have a woman in truly men's clothing, alal Marlene Dietrich.
And kissing the body is incredibly wonderful- hey, even the bible speaks of kisses on the body, and we are talking thousands of years. Yet, when I mention that I do like those things, people look at me funny- as if a woman should noyt admit to such things, or men, for that matter.
So, to cut this ramble off, I try to use this in fics (that seem to start with you, my pretty!). An example: In "Christams Robe", Dumbledore basicly buys Snape a dress, and tells him to go and put it on. Go play dress up for Daddy. Then he fucks him. Genderfuck? Domination? Both? You be the judge!
So...there it is, I guess.