but 'allies' don't get called on their screw ups

[schmevil]

So I hear this one a lot. And sorry, the idea that allies don't get called on their screw ups is ridiculous. I've been issued so very many privilege checks over the years that I can't remember all of them. Here's a recent example, if you're looking. I made a joking post about places where hateful humour can still safely find refuge (ie. what you can still get away with joking about) but my wording was utter fail, and I got called on that.* And that's as it should be. I don't know any sincere allies who think they're unimpeachable moral arbiters. I may not intend to hurt people, but when I do, I deserve to get called on it. I may not intend to do or say something racist, misogynistic, ableist, or transphobic, but when I do? I should be called on it. Nobody gets a free pass, and no one will ever have done enough to be 'above suspicion'.


* I also got called on using the term 'fucktard'. There's a subthread that goes into the whys of that exchange, but suffice it to say that it's part of an ongoing conversation about those kinds of words, and the hows, whys and whens of their social acceptability. Used context-free as it was in the linked post though, it was indeed offensive, and I apologize.

(And er, apologies to anyone posting in that thread, who wondered why it disappeared for a day. idek what happened there but I've fixed all the security settings on my entries. I think).

Comments

[dirty_diana]

They've both been on the last couple weeks, but mostly separately. The show is doing a big February sweeps snowstorm/Mitch Lawrence thingie. But when the boys are both home safe and sound, I imagine there will be cuddling. Even if only in our heads. :)