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Jihad!
I like smutfic. I really, really like it. There's nothing better than a well-written smutfic that I can believe in and appreciate. There's a lot of wonderful smut out there, but unfortunately there is also an exponentially larger amount of sheer crap.
Crap that uses words like 'meat' and 'piss-hole' during a sex scene.
These stories have to go down, and go down hard. It is my considered opinion that every one who knows better and yet persists in writing such eye-searing crap, should be forced to test out their fanciful sex scenes. Over and over until they get them right.
To revive an old list, here are some more:
Penis Related
root
penis as weaponry or some other metallic object (ie spear, sword)
thrust
pumping
spewing
'hot pulsating member'
'throbbing manhood'
jutting
'standing at attention'
Nipple Related
nubs
buds
rock-hard
pebbles
love button
lunging
ripe
Vagina Related
'molten feminine core'
'delta of venus'
'nest of soft curls'
core
'gushing pussy'
grasping
mound
Ass
pucker
rosebud
flower
'tight heat'
Other
scissoring
"Harder! Faster! Oh god! Please!"
'waves of pleasure'
'seeing stars'
Situations
crying during sex
dry penetrative sex
people as food or sexual acts as eating food or people tasting like food (unless actual food is involved and really people, why?)
the 1 2 3 method of preparation
penetrative sex as the first choice of virgins everywhere (where's the frottage people?)
excessive lube
kissing during anal - comfortably
Crap that uses words like 'meat' and 'piss-hole' during a sex scene.
These stories have to go down, and go down hard. It is my considered opinion that every one who knows better and yet persists in writing such eye-searing crap, should be forced to test out their fanciful sex scenes. Over and over until they get them right.
To revive an old list, here are some more:
Penis Related
root
penis as weaponry or some other metallic object (ie spear, sword)
thrust
pumping
spewing
'hot pulsating member'
'throbbing manhood'
jutting
'standing at attention'
Nipple Related
nubs
buds
rock-hard
pebbles
love button
lunging
ripe
Vagina Related
'molten feminine core'
'delta of venus'
'nest of soft curls'
core
'gushing pussy'
grasping
mound
Ass
pucker
rosebud
flower
'tight heat'
Other
scissoring
"Harder! Faster! Oh god! Please!"
'waves of pleasure'
'seeing stars'
Situations
crying during sex
dry penetrative sex
people as food or sexual acts as eating food or people tasting like food (unless actual food is involved and really people, why?)
the 1 2 3 method of preparation
penetrative sex as the first choice of virgins everywhere (where's the frottage people?)
excessive lube
kissing during anal - comfortably
no subject
This one really gets to me, especially when it's Clark tasting like citrus. Why citrus? It always makes me think he's been drinking too much orange juice. Why can't he ever taste bad? Maybe I should write a PWP in which Clark tastes like skunk scent but Lex loves him anyway.
Also, the taste of food doesn't linger that long in someone's mouth, so you most likely won't taste what they've been eating recently.
You know, I could go on and on about food-related stuff: how endearing it is to have food on one's face, for example.
no subject