Jihad!

[schmevil]

I like smutfic. I really, really like it. There's nothing better than a well-written smutfic that I can believe in and appreciate. There's a lot of wonderful smut out there, but unfortunately there is also an exponentially larger amount of sheer crap.

Crap that uses words like 'meat' and 'piss-hole' during a sex scene.

These stories have to go down, and go down hard. It is my considered opinion that every one who knows better and yet persists in writing such eye-searing crap, should be forced to test out their fanciful sex scenes. Over and over until they get them right.

To revive an old list, here are some more:

Penis Related
root
penis as weaponry or some other metallic object (ie spear, sword)
thrust
pumping
spewing
'hot pulsating member'
'throbbing manhood'
jutting
'standing at attention'

Nipple Related
nubs
buds
rock-hard
pebbles
love button
lunging
ripe

Vagina Related
'molten feminine core'
'delta of venus'
'nest of soft curls'
core
'gushing pussy'
grasping
mound

Ass
pucker
rosebud
flower
'tight heat'

Other
scissoring
"Harder! Faster! Oh god! Please!"
'waves of pleasure'
'seeing stars'

Situations
crying during sex
dry penetrative sex
people as food or sexual acts as eating food or people tasting like food (unless actual food is involved and really people, why?)
the 1 2 3 method of preparation
penetrative sex as the first choice of virgins everywhere (where's the frottage people?)
excessive lube
kissing during anal - comfortably

Comments

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I like 'thrust.' Also 'buck,' which someone else makesmewannadie? pointed to as a 'bad sex word.' And 'wetly.' Mmmmm wetly.

Maybe I should make a list of good sex words.

On thrust:

[schmevil.livejournal.com]

It really can be over-used. You know those scenes where they're just thrusting against each other the whole time? Cocks thrust. Fingers thrust. Hips thrust. Vaginas thrust.

Save me from thrusting vaginas.