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5 Things I Hate About MPgreg / Constantine / gangster!Snapefic
1. Conception.
Typically conception occurs during anal sex and while I understand you might choose to take this route, I think it's a ridiculously weak and obvious choice. Your story is about a male carrying another male's child - you can do better than magick-sperm traveling up through the intestines into the insta-womb of gay love. Anal conception is hetero-normative in the sense that you're making the relationship function just like a heterosexual one. You're making the baby-carrier female, and even if you have them switch up, you're writing a male and a switch/dominant female.
Not to say that if a story with anal conception will have the baby-carrier take on feminine traits (though this is extremely likely to be the case), but even if the baby-carrier is the butchest bear to never shave his chest, he's taken on female biological functions to the extent they are natural. Normal. Oops-I-forgot-to-take-my-pill normal.
MPreg has to remain *un*natural, strange, accidental in a what-the-hell-is-god-on kind of way. That's what MPreg *is*. It's the wacky impact on homosexual relationship that makes it (theoretically) work.
2. Pornographic descriptions of the downsides of pregnancy.
Usually found in mediocre whinefests that were movies of the week in previous lives. Jebus fucking Christ kids, why in all the levels of hell would I want a detailed description of Methos' now-tiny bladder and the consequences therein? Let me assure you, there is absolutely no reason that I will be ever interested in hearing about Methos' bladder. Neither is MacLeod interested - even if he is the father, he isn't interested in his baby-mommy's urine.
Same goes for Methos' swollen feet, his headaches, or sore back. Frankly, no one cares and Writer? It's painfully obvious that you're looking for a sympathetic ear in the bloated final stages of your own pregnancy. It's sad that you look to MPreg fic to provide that ear.
3. Alternative childbirth/child rearing.
Dude. We talking about two dudes spawning. It's freaky enough for them that they won't be looking into *alternative* stuff. When god is on mescaline, you take whatever normality you can find.
4. The lack of pitchfork and torch wielding mobs.
I know if my neighbor announced that he'd been knocked up by his boyfriend I'd be looking at him a little funny. There's something more then a little hinky in a group of people that is startled but not absolutely freakin' gobsmacked by an MPreg. Why do they jump so quickly to welcoming the little bundle of joy into the family? Shouldn't they be worried about it being an alien, a demon or frogspawn? I know I'd guess frogspawn before MPreg.
5. 'Immaculate' conception.
I've asked people why they write MPreg and many say they feel that procreation is the ultimate expression of human love. Generally I reply, uh, hey, it's actually the ultimate expression of the human survival instinct, but I've never yet converted one. Why does this bug me? Couple of reasons.
a) Heteronormative attitude! If procreation is the ultimate expression of human love than no homosexual relationship can be equal to a heterosexual relationship - that's why the writer must resort to MPreg, to make it equal to HetPreg.
b) Babies =/= love. People love their babies but it's impossible to argue that babies *come from love*. Honestly, aren't we past the storks and hand holding explanation?
c) Coupled with the idea of sexual procreation being just the greatest thing since cell division is this sense that because MPreg is unnatural, it's special, and the issue is somehow unique, more valuable than that of a heterosexual relationship. GayBabies are better than HetBabies.
d) Sexism! Since women bare the lion's share of the procreative burden they are therefore more loving. The she-he of MPreg? Also more loving. Females =/= love!
e) Sexism! Ever notice that MPreg is often treated with so much reverence that it takes on a religious quality? I often get the sense that I'm reading about an immaculate conception - immaculate in that it involves no dirty womenz, just beautiful gay men.
Let me use this opportunity to describe what my ideal MPreg would entail. There are two possibilities.
1) Race of functional hermaphrodites who've interbred with us so much that it's become difficult to use secondary sexual characteristics in identification. "Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you in." "On what charge?" "Public indecency." "It's just a chest!" "Breasts, sir."
2) Act of a cruel deity, comedy, pathos and lessons of privledge ensue. All at once with absolutely no sentimentality, porn, sexism or porn in sight.
***
I saw Constantine tonight and stayed through the end credits as per your recommendation and I have a question: am I the only one who noticed that the freakin' fluffers got credits? I mean - seriously, what kind of movie credits the sandwich-bringing, cock-sucking assistants? Keanu Reeves' assistant.
Besides that - it was a very pretty movie. Very pretty. KR and RW would have very pretty children.
BTW, does anyone have a still of John holding Duck the cat? I would love an icon of that pic, so link me.
***
As no beta appears to be forthcoming on the Snapefic, I'll just ask some questions here and everywhere else I can think of.
1. What were the major criminal organizations in the UK in the 1970's?
2. What geographical region would you place Snape?
3. What's a good Brit equivalent for 'kid'?
Typically conception occurs during anal sex and while I understand you might choose to take this route, I think it's a ridiculously weak and obvious choice. Your story is about a male carrying another male's child - you can do better than magick-sperm traveling up through the intestines into the insta-womb of gay love. Anal conception is hetero-normative in the sense that you're making the relationship function just like a heterosexual one. You're making the baby-carrier female, and even if you have them switch up, you're writing a male and a switch/dominant female.
Not to say that if a story with anal conception will have the baby-carrier take on feminine traits (though this is extremely likely to be the case), but even if the baby-carrier is the butchest bear to never shave his chest, he's taken on female biological functions to the extent they are natural. Normal. Oops-I-forgot-to-take-my-pill normal.
MPreg has to remain *un*natural, strange, accidental in a what-the-hell-is-god-on kind of way. That's what MPreg *is*. It's the wacky impact on homosexual relationship that makes it (theoretically) work.
2. Pornographic descriptions of the downsides of pregnancy.
Usually found in mediocre whinefests that were movies of the week in previous lives. Jebus fucking Christ kids, why in all the levels of hell would I want a detailed description of Methos' now-tiny bladder and the consequences therein? Let me assure you, there is absolutely no reason that I will be ever interested in hearing about Methos' bladder. Neither is MacLeod interested - even if he is the father, he isn't interested in his baby-mommy's urine.
Same goes for Methos' swollen feet, his headaches, or sore back. Frankly, no one cares and Writer? It's painfully obvious that you're looking for a sympathetic ear in the bloated final stages of your own pregnancy. It's sad that you look to MPreg fic to provide that ear.
3. Alternative childbirth/child rearing.
Dude. We talking about two dudes spawning. It's freaky enough for them that they won't be looking into *alternative* stuff. When god is on mescaline, you take whatever normality you can find.
4. The lack of pitchfork and torch wielding mobs.
I know if my neighbor announced that he'd been knocked up by his boyfriend I'd be looking at him a little funny. There's something more then a little hinky in a group of people that is startled but not absolutely freakin' gobsmacked by an MPreg. Why do they jump so quickly to welcoming the little bundle of joy into the family? Shouldn't they be worried about it being an alien, a demon or frogspawn? I know I'd guess frogspawn before MPreg.
5. 'Immaculate' conception.
I've asked people why they write MPreg and many say they feel that procreation is the ultimate expression of human love. Generally I reply, uh, hey, it's actually the ultimate expression of the human survival instinct, but I've never yet converted one. Why does this bug me? Couple of reasons.
a) Heteronormative attitude! If procreation is the ultimate expression of human love than no homosexual relationship can be equal to a heterosexual relationship - that's why the writer must resort to MPreg, to make it equal to HetPreg.
b) Babies =/= love. People love their babies but it's impossible to argue that babies *come from love*. Honestly, aren't we past the storks and hand holding explanation?
c) Coupled with the idea of sexual procreation being just the greatest thing since cell division is this sense that because MPreg is unnatural, it's special, and the issue is somehow unique, more valuable than that of a heterosexual relationship. GayBabies are better than HetBabies.
d) Sexism! Since women bare the lion's share of the procreative burden they are therefore more loving. The she-he of MPreg? Also more loving. Females =/= love!
e) Sexism! Ever notice that MPreg is often treated with so much reverence that it takes on a religious quality? I often get the sense that I'm reading about an immaculate conception - immaculate in that it involves no dirty womenz, just beautiful gay men.
Let me use this opportunity to describe what my ideal MPreg would entail. There are two possibilities.
1) Race of functional hermaphrodites who've interbred with us so much that it's become difficult to use secondary sexual characteristics in identification. "Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you in." "On what charge?" "Public indecency." "It's just a chest!" "Breasts, sir."
2) Act of a cruel deity, comedy, pathos and lessons of privledge ensue. All at once with absolutely no sentimentality, porn, sexism or porn in sight.
***
I saw Constantine tonight and stayed through the end credits as per your recommendation and I have a question: am I the only one who noticed that the freakin' fluffers got credits? I mean - seriously, what kind of movie credits the sandwich-bringing, cock-sucking assistants? Keanu Reeves' assistant.
Besides that - it was a very pretty movie. Very pretty. KR and RW would have very pretty children.
BTW, does anyone have a still of John holding Duck the cat? I would love an icon of that pic, so link me.
***
As no beta appears to be forthcoming on the Snapefic, I'll just ask some questions here and everywhere else I can think of.
1. What were the major criminal organizations in the UK in the 1970's?
2. What geographical region would you place Snape?
3. What's a good Brit equivalent for 'kid'?
no subject
Sophie