schmevil | (no subject)

Dear Joss Whedon,

Please stop doing this. (Spoilers for Buffy #14) Your blind spot regarding certain issues, you know them, we've had this talk, is really, REALLY SHOWING. Good god, man.

Also? Never, ever write X-Men again. Stay the hell away from the mutants from Westchester, because Astonishing was so painfully average I can't bring myself to write the review I hoped to do of your run. It was just that fucking boring. Your Emma was nigh unreadable. Your Kitty was nauseating. Your Colossus had no real reason for being. Boo. Just boo to your dreck-filled, stolen-from-Claremont, rehash of every X cliche in the X book. BOO.

However, I do stand by my comments regarding your being better for the X brand than Morrison. You brought in some new readers, and brought back some old ones.

Still. The sheer suckitude of your run has put a stop to my playing catch up with X-Men - I really don't think I can go on, Joss. I mean, if Brubaker is even half as narcoleptic as you, my job could be on the line. Would you like to know why, Joss? Because just thinking about your damn book PUT ME TO FUCKING SLEEP. While counting money. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fall asleep with hundreds of thousands of dollars in front of you? Just the memory of Astonishing was enough to conquer my unconquerable insomnia. Insomnia so bad that I have been know to stay awake for two days straight, AFTER popping sleeping pills like they're pez.

THAT'S HOW MUCH YOU SUCK.

Thanks for listening,

schmevil

***

So I need to stop reading Ms. Marvel posts on

scans_daily before I've read the issue myself. The latest MM finally arrived in my mailbox yesterday, and I have to say that the post was far from representative, and not at all what I took from the issue. Less weepy, more ass-kicky - which is of course all to the good.

My biggest complaint about Brian Reed's run on MM is that Carol hasn't been kicking nearly enough ass. She may not be an A list superhero, but the villains for damn sure should know that when Ms. Marvel finds you? Your shit is going to get fucked the hell up. Carol isn't a Punisher or a Wolverine. She's not going to stab you, shoot you, or leave you for dead. Probably. As long as your don't annoy her. In fact, most of the time she'll send you along to the Raft with a couple of broken limbs, tops. But your base? Your awesomely villainous equipment? Gone. Kaput. Because Carol is a living, breathing weapon of mass destruction, and she really, really likes her job.

I want to see more fist-shaking!Carol and less moping!Carol.

[Use of above scan is not meant to imply that Carol should be fist-shaking at single mothers, superheroes or good guys the world over.]

I can see where Reed's coming from with his Carol - she's the bastard step-child of Claremont's and Busiek's Carol. She's got the same combination of high intensity, but usually repressed angst, and heroic (albeit punch-happy) spirit they both wrote her as having. What she lacks is the self confidence that allowed her to trust herself enough to take risks. Reed's Carol is terrified of failing, of backsliding, of not being better. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing this story (Best of the Best), with this character per se, but Reed's writing lacks the interiority necessary to make it work. He can write a good plot, he's great with continuity, but he's struggling with getting Carol on the page - giving her life, making her internal life known to us.

Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the book. It's superfun. It's just... I want more.

And my big, ever-present worry for the character is that she'll somehow get lost in the Secret Invasion shuffle - she's ostensibly the leader of the Mighty Avengers, but really, how different would the book be without her? Biggest change? Doom would have had to call Janet a fat piece of furniture, with a cow mouth, a whore's heart and bad breath. Trust me, he was getting there but Carol's moping put him off.

Or worse, considering Bendis' appalling record with the character (what the HELL man?), some fresh horror will be visited upon her. Marvel has been giving MM the hard sell, but part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop - what's it going to be this time boys? She's already been: depowered (twice), raped, forcibly impregnated and had her life stolen by Rogue. What new sexualized attack on the feminist superhero can we dream up? As much as I know my fears are (mostly) fueled by paranoia, the Tigra thing, the Doom thing, the Tigra thing again, make me nervous. Especially with guys like Bendis and Joss running the show. Mssrs. We Only Hurt the Ones We Love (Oh Yeah, And the Ones We Hate, Those Bitches We Hurt More).

[That's not to say that they haven't done stuff I love to death. Buffy. Angel. Alias. CW: the Confession. Some of Illuminati - mostly the parts when they weren't acting like fratboys.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Buffy arc's not over. I wouldn't be surprised if [spoiler] is setting up something [spoiler] in the next issue.

Just saying. :)

And if Whedon's X-men run is 'painfully average,' what's your gold standard? Not baiting, just curious.

I wouldn't be surprised if [spoiler] is setting up something [spoiler] in the next issue.

That would actually be more of a surprise at this point, so I think you're probably right. ;)

I don't really have a gold standard X writer. They've all had their ups and downs. Hell, I'm sure even Austen did some good work. XD

I tend to like a little bit of everything. O5, 80's, the pouch era - it's all good. I even liked a good chunk of 90's X-Force (post-Liefeld). Claremont's stories are delicious crack, despite his purpler than purple prose. Ellis' work on Excalibur was really quite solid. With X-Men I basically want dynamic relationships, cracky stories, and dubious science fiction.

The problem with Joss' run imo, is that it's kind of blandly familiar. I feel like I've read it all before, but better. Kitty/Piotr was a sticking point for me, in that Joss threw out years of actually, really good development for both characters, in order to make that relationship work. And what he produced was so much like what others had done before. I kind of felt that he was trying to recreate his childhood X-Men. Except with Emma.

And I've just now read your icon. :D

Oh, and Danger. So very unnecessary, considering other, similar revelations of Xavier's naughty past. That story rubbed me the wrong way, and coming at the beginning of his run as it did, my hatred for Danger probably coloured what came after.

Preach it, sister! Oh, JOSS, Joss, JOSS. What the hell happened here? I'm so sick of his hate on for love. So. Sick. Of. It.

His writing on AXM has been flat, too. He can't write Hank McCoy - in fact, he commits the cardinal sin of underusing Hank, but I'd rather have Joss underuse him than write him poorly, and Joss can't write Hank to save his life. We had twenty issues of build up on the AXM run so...that...Joss could show us Scott wrecking some guy's face? Granted, it was a BRILLIANT face wrecking, but that kind of thing should have been happening every other issue, you know?

I agree with you about Morrison's New X-Men, but you probably already knew that. Except for Scott and Emma, who make me ill because I think Emma Frost sets back women in comics every time she's on panel and written as a catty, icy bitch.

Ms. Marvel: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Carol was an A-list hero for years. I still think of her as one, along with a lot of other people.

I agree with your essential points about her new series. What happened to joyfully and confidently ballbusting Carol who took no shit, didn't doubt herself, and ENJOYED life? What happened to feminist Carol? Man, she's not present anywhere in the new Ms. Marvel book. I miss that Carol. I miss that Carol SO MUCH.

Also, OMG, I watched the new Wolverine & The X-Men trailer, and DOMINO is in it!

he commits the cardinal sin of underusing Hank, but I'd rather have Joss underuse him than write him poorly, and Joss can't write Hank to save his life.

I barely remember AXM Hank. I had to think about it, and I just read the issues last week. Yikes. Joss doesn't seem to have had a strong grasp on Hank, or his purpose in the book, but that's a common problem - what to do with the characters who don't just stab the hell out of things?

Although, I think he has problems with Logan, too. But these days, who doesn't? I want pre-feral Logan back.

Re Emma/Scott. I still haven't decided about that one. I loved 90's Emma circa Phalanx/early Gen X, and I think that Emma had loads of leadership potential. (One thing I loved about that era is how all the younger X girls called Emma on her bull). Neither Morrison's nor Joss' Emma is at all inspiring, and I boggle at how all the male X people seem to fall in line with no trouble. Emma/Scott could work. Maybe. It just hasn't yet. I found Morrison's Emma so hateful that while the story kinda sorta worked ok in theory (Scott turning away from his goddess-wife who he thinks has outgrown him), in practice it failed spectacularly.

Carol was an A-list hero for years. I still think of her as one, along with a lot of other people.

By that I meant that within the MU she's no longer considered an A-List hero. It's all part of the Bendis-Reed plan to remake her better (they have the technology).

Also, OMG, I watched the new Wolverine & The X-Men trailer, and DOMINO is in it!

I saw that too. I was bouncing in my seat. Domino! Introduced to a new generation of fans!

There's a new issue of Ms. Marvel out today? Curse final papers making me miss the comicbook store; I'll have to make sure to go get it tomorrow.

Oh, and Xander's resemblance to a very young Fury in that icon is weirdly amusing for some reason.

He actually makes a crack about that in the comic. :)

And no, it's last months issue. For some reason I get She-Hulk a week ahead, Iron Man two weeks late, and Ms. Marvel a month late. It's really odd.

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Preach it, sister! <3 <3

Re: Preach it, sister! <3 <3

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