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whenever I hear...
"...it's not a real fandom until there's a bakery/coffee shop AU," I consider punching myself in the face, in hopes of turning back the tsunami of annoyance that instantly washes over me.
So this is a Things That Annoy Me Irrationally post.
- While I've been banging the "JUST READ BETTER COMICS" drum for ages, I still hate that guy. I hate the drum circles of smug indie comics readers, and angry ex-Big Two comics readers, and their "Stop complaining. Start doing. All you have to do is not give Marvel and DC your money," simplicity so much. Fuck off with your kumbaya-easy solutions to a complex problem that you don't understand.
- "Get a job, you hippies." I become a veritable inferno of rage, but am also overtaken by helpless lulz. It's complicated, and strangely physically draining. HIPPIES ARE OVER. OVER, YOU IGNORANT SON OF A NEWT. GET SOME NEW LINES. READ A BOOK. EAT SOME QUINOA. FUCK OFF.
- Slow walkers who are walking slowly solely because they're distracted by their smartphones. Pffftwitch.
So this is a Things That Annoy Me Irrationally post.
- While I've been banging the "JUST READ BETTER COMICS" drum for ages, I still hate that guy. I hate the drum circles of smug indie comics readers, and angry ex-Big Two comics readers, and their "Stop complaining. Start doing. All you have to do is not give Marvel and DC your money," simplicity so much. Fuck off with your kumbaya-easy solutions to a complex problem that you don't understand.
- "Get a job, you hippies." I become a veritable inferno of rage, but am also overtaken by helpless lulz. It's complicated, and strangely physically draining. HIPPIES ARE OVER. OVER, YOU IGNORANT SON OF A NEWT. GET SOME NEW LINES. READ A BOOK. EAT SOME QUINOA. FUCK OFF.
- Slow walkers who are walking slowly solely because they're distracted by their smartphones. Pffftwitch.
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Someone once shouted "Go to work, you're lazy lazy lazy" at me while on a picket line. It's 7am and I'm out handing out leaflets, you idiot. If I was at work, I would be in my comfy chair in the warm with a cup of tea. I am not on a picket line because it is less effort, and I doubt camping in November on cement and paving is precisely effort-free.
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Did you see the teenagers in 1942 vs teenagers in 2011 meme that was going around?
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I did not. Are we now advocating shooting hundreds of thousands of teens as a character-building exercise?
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And pretty much. But it's ok, we've got more kids where that came from, right? Hilarious that people see going to war as a grunt as productive, while protesting for economic and social reforms is just spitting into the wind.
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"...it's not a real fandom until there's a bakery/coffee shop AU,
Personally, I don't get coffee shop AUs because they take one of the main reason most people are attracted to the fandom to begin with (the SF/super-hero-y/action-y content) and get rid of it. You have to be a phenomenal writer to make serving coffee not significantly less interesting than fighting crime/demons/vampires/injustice or exploring space or whatever.
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Ultimate Tony is drunk and surfing the Internet at a coffeeshop/bakery. They try to close, and he whines and then buys the place and pays the staff to stay late. Then he has an argument with the baker about the feasibility of Martini cupcakes, and the baker quits.
MEANWHILE Ultimate Steve successfully breaks out of SHIELD custody and goes on the lam. He sees Tony sticking up a CUPCAKES WANTED notice, and applies for the job, promising a wide variety of cupcakes. Tony is willing to hire the pretty man in the... hospital scrubs? Whatever. Tony passes out on the couch in the break room and Steve applies his superlearning skills to baking.
Something something stuff.
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... Crumbs (NYC bakery chain) actually does have cocktail-flavored cupcakes. I think they're either margarita or mohito flavored. They have pale green icing with pink sugar crystals around the edges pretending to be salt.
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OMG those sound amazing. D: I think booze cupcakes for breakfast will be a hit and Steve will run a successful bakery and Tony will seduce him and then I guess Fury will wander in in search of a Woo Woo muffin and gets pelted with pastries and knocked out with a milk pitcher. Tony is all... why are you cramming the Director of SHIELD into the storecupboard?
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Crumbs' best cupcakes are the apple & honey ones they sell during the high holidays every year, though. They're not listed on the website because they only have them for about a week each year, but they're amazing. Like, sold-out-after-the-first-day amazing.
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