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S.S. Evil Cherry Pie: Narcissa/Lucius/Severus

1 1/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup flour
48 ounces red tart cherries, undrained
1/4 teaspoon cyanide
Few drops human blood
2 tablespoons liquefied fat of babies born on the winter solstice
1 cool, calculating blonde
1 arrogant, temperamental snob
1 mean, ugly teacher (extra pettiness recommended)
Anthrax for sprinkling (optional)

Pastry for 2-crust 9-inch pie (consult house elves)

Direct house elves to: Mix blonde, sugar and flour. Stir in cherries, cyanide, blood, snob and teacher. Pour into a pastry-lined pie plate. Dot with butter. Cut rolled pastry dough into 1/2 to 3/4-inch wide strips and weave them on top of the pie. seal and flute the edges. Sprinkle lightly with anthrax.

Cast incendio until crust is brown and juice begins to bubble.