Dearest Dipshit

So sorry to have wounded your tender feelings but please, allow me a short explanation in my defense. See, I was under the impression that when you asked me to critique your internet porn and specifically requested that I be 'brutal' that you in fact wanted a thorough critique of said internet porn. I see now that I was mistaken and that I should have responded with effusive praise. In no way does my misunderstanding of your request reflect on your writing. You are, after all, a master of prose! Your characterizations are unmatched, your phrasing sublime, your stories so original, so emotionally honest and pure that they frequently bring me to tears. I salute you, mistress of internet porn.

Love always,
MartianHousecat

P.S. I forgot to apologize for thinking you were mature enough to handle an honest opinion of your internet porn. Clearly I've been out of fandom too long!

P.P.S. Next time you want someone to complacently suck your intellectual cock while simultaneously gurgling out insipid compliments, think about investing in a fangirl.