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...caplets of stallion desire.
Jul. 23rd, 2009
cracked.com ranks Star Trek films
Jul. 23rd, 2009 08:32 pmthey have this to say about Star Trek: First Contack:
I can't disagree with a list that puts Khan at the top and Final Frontier at the bottom. I actively avoid* that wretched excuse for a Trek film, and frankly, I have horrible taste in movies. I own Bubba Ho-Tep ffs.
Oh Jean-Luc. You will forever be my captain.
*Much as I do Nemesis and Insurrection. I will, if need be, cross provincial lines in order to avoid watching them straight through, and sober. I will however, happily subject them to an epic MSTing, should a motherfucking GALLON of Romulan ale be at hand.
Jean-Luc Picard, known mostly for enjoying hot cups of tea, Brahms concertos, and avoiding fights by talking things over sensibly, turns into Bruce Willis in First Contact. He sprays Borg drones with hot lead from a tommy gun, courts death by calling Worf a coward and delivers a mouth-foaming monologue about killing every Borg he can lay his hands on that culminates in an awesome rockstar tantrum where he trashes his ready room. Later, he snaps the Borg Queen' spine like a breadstick. Apparently, there are any number of things you can do to Picard without making him lose his cool. But turn him an albino cyborg and he will fuck your shit up.
I can't disagree with a list that puts Khan at the top and Final Frontier at the bottom. I actively avoid* that wretched excuse for a Trek film, and frankly, I have horrible taste in movies. I own Bubba Ho-Tep ffs.
Oh Jean-Luc. You will forever be my captain.
*Much as I do Nemesis and Insurrection. I will, if need be, cross provincial lines in order to avoid watching them straight through, and sober. I will however, happily subject them to an epic MSTing, should a motherfucking GALLON of Romulan ale be at hand.
So you know how every Star Trek series tried to throw the ladies (and boys who like boys) a bone, but kind of fumbled? Let's vote on their efforts.
Three characters, people, animals, vegetables or minerals are given, and you must choose one to marry, one to f*ck and one to kill. No fence sitting. No halfsies. Ya gotta choose.
Three characters, people, animals, vegetables or minerals are given, and you must choose one to marry, one to f*ck and one to kill. No fence sitting. No halfsies. Ya gotta choose.
Poll #822 Marry, F*ck, or Kill #27: Stark Trek Beef Cake (lol!)
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 1
Lieutenant Tom Paris
Commander Will Riker
Commander Trip Tucker