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I'm reading a truly godawful Harry Potter story. Full on Snapologia, complete with Suffering Slytherin backstory and my god. MY GOD. I want to rewrite scenes so badly. Instead of stuttering excuses--insults and threats. Instead of snuffling--hexes, throat punches and humiliating displays of emotional childishness (on Snape's part).
I want to leap into the fic, grab this limp blanket of a character by the shoulders and shake him.
"YOU'RE SEVERUS MOTHERFUCKING SNAPE, ASSHOLE. YOU DON'T CRY OVER SPILLED MILK. YOU INVENT A POTION THAT CREATES A SYNTHETIC EMOTIONAL STATE IN SPILLED MILK AND THEN INFLICT IRREPARABLE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. ONE DAY THE MILK WILL WRITE A BOOK, DETAILING ITS STRUGGLE TO OVERCOME YOUR BULLYING, AND YOU WILL JUST SNEER IT INTO A RELAPSE. FROM A DISTANCE. SNAPE UP."
What's the point of writing Snape if you're going to downplay the depths of his assholery? idgi
Uh yeah. I'll be off to bed now.
I want to leap into the fic, grab this limp blanket of a character by the shoulders and shake him.
"YOU'RE SEVERUS MOTHERFUCKING SNAPE, ASSHOLE. YOU DON'T CRY OVER SPILLED MILK. YOU INVENT A POTION THAT CREATES A SYNTHETIC EMOTIONAL STATE IN SPILLED MILK AND THEN INFLICT IRREPARABLE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. ONE DAY THE MILK WILL WRITE A BOOK, DETAILING ITS STRUGGLE TO OVERCOME YOUR BULLYING, AND YOU WILL JUST SNEER IT INTO A RELAPSE. FROM A DISTANCE. SNAPE UP."
What's the point of writing Snape if you're going to downplay the depths of his assholery? idgi
Uh yeah. I'll be off to bed now.