Sillyfic Challenge!

fizzingpop and I were discussing RPS...

Me: The first time I ever encountered [RPS], it was all written by gay men
Me: Seriously hardcore, dirty porn

Fizz: *laughs*
Fizz: That's excellent.

Me: Then a couple of years ago, the slashers started writing it
Me: And it became um, fluffy
Me: The change is hysterical, though the lack of all the '9 inch meat' is saddening. ;-)

Fizz: ....Dude. I haven't laughed as hard as I just did in _years_.
Fizz: '9 inch meat'.
Fizz: *still laughing*

Me: It was in every story, back in the day.

Fizz: That's wonderful.

Me: Of course, there was always a LOT of come, too
Me: Guys would be coming in each other's faces, hitting the ceiling
Me: It was like... carnival porn

Fizz: Hah! That's brilliant!

Me: I should issue a Write The Sex Like A Man Would, challenge

Fizz: This'll be the best challenge _ever_. There should be an award for best challenge, and this could win.

Write the Sex Like A Man Would

Yes ladies, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write man-porn. Not slash but carnival man-porn, in all it's cheesy glory. Gigantic, jutting cocks. Streams of come. And the phrase "9 inch meat". It just doesn't get any better than this. Bonus points for rocket come. As always, the challenge is open - any fandom, any pairing.

As a *cough* reward for the best entry, Fizz and I will write a ficlet of at least 250 words. Any pairing, any plot. (Harry Potter and Smallville only)