schmevil: (darth vader (noooooo!))
So this weekend there was a minor galactic implosion over an unsubstantiated and now-denied rumor that Lucasfilms was considering a third Star Wars trilogy. This lead to an explosion of pro and anti third trilogy articles and blog posts.

Assuming you wouldn't, you know, kill the man on sight--You have broken into Skywalker Ranch. You have in your possession a PASIV, and at your side a crack team of extractors. What do you do?--What would you ask Lucas to put into/focus on in a third Star Wars trilogy?

For myself, NO MORE SKYWALKERS. Sry guize, your time has passed and thanks to Anakin that consumate fuck being the head of the family, you've collectively left a sour taste in my mouth. Beyond that I'm not invested in the universe enough to have particular wants and needs The Adventures of Mace Wins-All and Awesome-Wan Kenobi. Just give me Sith, Jedi, mouthy criminals and silliness, and I'll be fine.
schmevil: (darth vader (noooooo!))
He'd been tricked! Convinced the Verians wanted nothing more from him than friendship, when all along they looked to him as the answer to their prayers? A warrior to free them from sea dragons? They were insane! Especially that green one: Daco.

Oh Daco. That scamp.
schmevil: (darth vader (noooooo!))
Yesterday I was reading a Star Wars fic. It appeared to be a gen, Jedi-prodecural (mission to a trouble planet, Master-Padawan pair dispatched to the rescue). It was only after reading several thousand words that I discovered it was in fact Obi-Wan/Anakin, with a side of graphic non-con and Daddy Issues.

For the record: ( Anakin uses his superior force-manipulation abilities to weaken Obi-Wan into a state where he physically and emotionally cannot resist Anakin's sexual advances. (I'm fuzzy on just how he accomplished this, but am willing to accept that he ~Used The Force~). He then attempts to convince Obi-Wan that this is The Best Idea Ever via sexual and emotional manipulation, graduating to outright coercion when somehow, Obi-Wan finds the strength to resist the rape=awesome proposal. Finally he caps it all off with a Don't You Love Me Daddy? guilt trip. Obi-Wan, sensibly enough, is Not Having This. That is, until the Daddy issues come into play, and he starts getting hot and bothered. Yes, after the non-con. The story ends with Obi-Wan telling himself to get over being raped by his Padawan, because after all, isn't he the Chosen One? And Boys Will Be Boys. LOLWUT?)

COME ON PEOPLE. If you're not going to label this stuff, at least throw me a bone and do some foreshadowing. Not-for-me sex stuff aside, if I'm looking to read the fandom's equivalent of a procedural, I'm not going to be happy when you SURPRISE TWIST your way into an entirely different, and unexpected genre.

In fiction there are good surprises, bad surprises, so bad they're good surprises, and WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM?! surprises.

This surprise was most definitely of the last kind, all caps included.
schmevil: (darth vader (noooooo!))
Ok, not really, but put your imagination caps on people. Let's imagine a verse where Obi-Wan Kenobi is a cis woman. Jedi being Jedi, her childhood is largely the same as his. Initiate Kenobi is talented, hardworking and generally awesome, aside from her too quick temper, and her insecurities. She has the same childhood friends and enemies. She clashes with Bruck Chun, and has trouble convincing Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn to take her on as his apprentice. Eventually she does, and over the years, the Jinn-Kenobi team grows into one of the best in the Order.

One day they're dispatched to Naboo, to mediate between the Trade Federation and the Naboo planetary government. Stuff happens, and when the dust settles, a newly knighted Obi-Wan Kenobi is charged with training Anakin Skywalker. While I don't think the Jinn-Kenobi relationship would be significantly different, had one of them been female and not male, it seems obvious to me that Anakin responds very differently to women and men, and that in general, his thinking is more, well, gendered. Would a sister/mother figure be better/worse/just different from a brother/father figure? If Anakin left the care of his mother, to be raised by another, albeit younger and much more emotionally distant woman, would he have an easier time adapting? Harder? Same?

What do you guys think would be different?
schmevil: (personality)
... but surely not for Anakin's 'best'.

"Anakin, I’m sorry for mutilating you and hiding your children from you. It was for your best."

Polling the flist! Was Anakin Skywalker's mutilation at the hands of his BFF Obi-Wan Kenobi, for 'his best'?
schmevil: (personality)

WAT.

If not Vader, then perhaps John Barrowman is the cure for writer's block? Have a John Barrowan cover of Bryan Adams' Heaven. LOVE this ridiculous video to death, btw. Canada's graveliest heart throb serenading a concert hall full of tv screens? Epic lolarity.

Why writer's block?

I've managed to produce > 17,000 words of notes and commentary on Laclau and Ranciere. Did I mention this paper only needs to be 10 pages? You know when you're beyond ready to write a paper, but you can't seem to just sit the fuck down and write it? Yeah, that's me. I've probably overthought this thing. Arg!
schmevil: (bruce lee (jumpsuit))
“Watch what you say, old man. I could talk circles around you until you wouldn’t even know right from left. I am extremely gifted in speech, I’ll have you know, and I’m adept in several languages. I can also be very diplomat, if the need arises,” Anakin said proudly.
schmevil: (bruce lee (jumpsuit))
The furlong look on the healers face told him that the possibly that Obi-Wan may not make it was a very good one.

*dies*
schmevil: (don and roger)
So I never saw Star Wars Episode III. Episode I was pretty terrible outside of the Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon and lightsabre fights. Episode II was a nightmare I've managed to suppress, but for the Obi-Wan and the lightsabre fights. (Are you getting the impression that I'm here for the lightsabres and the Awesome Wan Kenobi? Because yeah, pretty much the case). Anyway, when Episode III came around, promising yet more wooden Anawangst, I gave it a pass.

I've been watching clips of it on YouTube and have come to realize that I absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, made the right choice. *wince* Oh, George. Why do they let you off the ranch? And honestly, poor, poor Ewan, having nothing but green screen and Hayden Christensen to work with. Tragedy.

Because I can't be bothered to write up a proper entry about this travesty, some comments on the film, culled from YouTube. Brace yourselves people!

"Darth Plagueis created Anakin by an experiment using a human (Anakins mother). The reason of Darth Plagueis of creating Anakin was to create the most powerfull Sith of all times (wich I think he did it). Anakin is not the Jedi of the profecy that will establish peace, Anakin has the destiny of become a Sith. The Jedi of the profecy would neither be Luke Skywalker even if he becamed the most powerful Jedi of all times, it would be his very VERY far grandson, Cade Skywalker."

"Sidious tells Vader, Padme is killer for him because Sidious knows if Vader find out Padme is still alive Vader have a reason to return tothe light side because Padme is the reason o Vader to keep something good inside of him because the Emperor dont destroy the all good inside of Vader, Vader have inside of him as still good the empero dont take the all good inside of him"

Amazingly, the part that's bothering me the most is Darth Plagueis. DARTH PLAGUEIS. Jesus Christ, George Lucas! What the eff is wrong with you, man? *flail*

July 2012

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